Stony Story

I will rise with the sun every morning. The maid already prepared my morning bubble bath. I hop out covered in bubblez n a cashmere robe i put on sensually.. light a fag and roll a joint... pour a glass of champagne imported from France and lay my soakin body into the hammock cushioned with organic Egyptian cotton. Still crisp out this mornin my cashmere robe is all i have to cover my bare skin . I walk barefoot to the goats and milk them for fresh goat milk. I wash my feet in the pond and feed the baby animals. I run back inside with my fresh goats milk and once again dirty feet. I start the kettle for my tea and begin reading Us weekly while the goats milk still has my attention. A few drops of this goat milk in your tea.. n ull be able to.walk on rainbows and collect stars in glass jars. My baby goats were imported from iceland and r said to have mysterious magical potions in their milk. I burn my tongue drinking the tea too fast. The drops of cream on my tea are magick. 
THE END

Happy Birthday!

Happy 5th birthday to my precious pup Delilah!

Love ya, my lil' cotton puff ball bitch!

She doesn't seem to be happy with her snowball face.

I feel like such a douche-bag postin' pics of my lil dog but it came out cute...

I made this on a free photo edit app called Pics Art. I downloaded it on my snazzy new cell... oops I mean "Smart Phone". I was bored and realized I have way too many pics of my dogs on my phone and they all looked the same so I used the free photo app and went crazy with neon-colored flower and star clipart like REALLY crazy. I was bored. It was fun. Gotta love it.

Baby Jeeziss

I love fuckin' with my mother's Christmas decorations. It cracks me up how perfect a cigarette fits in a baby doll's mouth like it was meant to be. But yes, I do enjoy seeing nativity sets as decorations during the holidays since it is the reason Christmas exists in the first place.

I love da black baby Jesus and da black virgin Mary!...

I love pure chocolate mmm-mmm!!!

Videos 2010

Bored & Stoned & Insomnia

Well I certainly got creative tonight. Even gotta laugh while doin it. Bitchz u kno ur jellisssssss.

Professional Odor Analyst?

I was looking up samples of death certificates on Google (don't ask) and ended coming across an article title that made me think. It's about that Casey Anthony bitch who done gone n killed her one n only little bay-bee!...This is what I saw:

Day 11: Expert smelled death in air samples from Casey Anthony's car

But here lies the jaw-dropping question that popped in my head, and I will ask you to ask yourself, as I won't promise a legitimate answer for you. Do you think the expert really just smelled farts in Casey Anthony's car?

Me Myself & I

I'm alone right now. It's 7:35pm and it looks like midnight outside. My neck hurts and Marilyn is on my wall starring at me. Then I turn my head to the right and I have to choose to either look at Donna Summer or a creepy vintage picture of Jesus. But turning my head to the right is when my neck hurts. So then I try the left side and I see my coffee table, cluttered as fuck with empty Aquafina bottles, bobby pins, a couple empty boxes of Newports, bracelets I never wear, and an empty bottle of Prosecco. I need to rearrange my room and also a few things in my life.
What to do... what to do...

I think I'll look through my pictures and videos, or google my life away looking at Selena pictures and wondering why the only people who still make fan pages for celebrities are always foreign. It's hard trying to find pictures when everything is either in Swedish or Spanish. I miss when internet started and all there was were fan pages. They always had the best photo galleries because they were obsessed with scanning all their memorabilia. OK, now I am going to google my life away... OH I should google how to stretch your neck... or crack it when you think you can't crack it anymore. I wish I can pull a Linda Blair and make my head spin around, ahhhh that must have got all her kinks out!

Two and a half hours later.....

It's now about 9:15pm and I spent a good chunk of that time trying to upload a bunch of random pics I found from when I had a life. Then I pressed "add selected pictures" and they disappeared. I'm pissed now and I need a cig... and my neck still hurt like a mutha. But anyways, here's a random stoner video of my stoner cat Ziggy being a stoner slut.